Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I'm Official
I’m a legal driver again. I finally passed the test for a Japanese driver’s license—the written part was a synch (I don’t think I’ve ever typed that word before), just ten questions in English. The practical driving test, however, is impossible. Not because the course is difficult to drive, but because you have to learn all kinds of stupid tricks before you can pass. While some people have passed on their first try (I’ve only heard of two people ever doing that) I think it’s pure, dumb luck who passes on which attempt. You have to remember to do so many impractical procedures that I actually drive better outside of the testing course than inside it.
The first time I failed for driving in the middle of the road. Heaven forbid! You’re supposed to drive as far to the left side of the road as possible—even on left hand turns! I was told I drove too slowly and given a public lecture about how Americans don’t realize they have to be careful of bicyclists because in America we don’t have bicycles! You should drive as far to the left as possible to CUT OFF bicyclists!! What. Ever. I was angry and embarrassed because I thought I drove the course perfectly and he was just being a jackass. I cried.
Second attempt: I had a wonderful man testing me. He asked me if I had any questions beforehand, then gave me the directions in English even though I didn’t need them. He told me afterwards that I was a very good driver, but I didn’t pass because I ran over a curb on a left-hand turn. I NEVER do that, but I was trying really hard to stay as far to the left as possible—Gotta cut off those bicyclists! Common sense says should make your turns a little wide or you’re going to hit the curb. Common! Sense! People! This time he told me I was going too fast although I never went above 30kph the entire course. I cried.
Third attempt: I was determined to find the perfect balance between too fast, too slow, too middle, too left, NOT hit any curbs and pass the test. I did everything fine and had one stoplight before I was homeward bound. I stopped at the red light, put it in neutral, put on the emergence brake, took my foot off the clutch—and killed the engine! I wasn’t in neutral!!! I swallowed hard in my already dry mouth and started planning my next trip to the testing center. I calmly finished the test and the tester reached for his Success/Failure form. He paused his pen over the Failure box for a moment, but finally circled “Success.” I kind of felt like a charity case, but I quickly got over that. I still think I demonstrated my best driving and deserved to pass the first time around. He probably thought I was hopeless and would never pass without his hand-out. I didn’t cry.
Three tests, $100, and two days of annual paid leave later, I am an official Japanese license holder. I only drove illegally for about two months, and never got caught! My school did find out, but that was only AFTER I had passed the test and all they could do was frown.
Yippie! Sierra
