Dartboard

Inspired by a recent conversation with my friend Alex, I feel the need to ask…

Are you a Heart-breaker or Broken-hearted?

(And by this, I just mean who chose to break up, you or the ex?)

Alex asked me and I expected it to be relatively even, but after serious thought I think mine is around 20:1 (heart-breaker : broken-hearted) including guys I just saw for a few weeks. It’s just an estimate, but it sort of explains why (more than I like to admit of) my ex-boyfriends don’t like me when I don’t have any problem with them.

There are a few mutual break ups too, and I’ve certainly been broken hearted even when I was the one who did the official breaking up, but the fact remains: I usually call it quits before he does.

I’m not proud of this but it explains a few things. Yasu (who I’m beginning to realize is pretty manipulative and a きびしい Japanese male) just pulled The “I burned your letters and forgot you exist” Card and I was shocked by it. Sure, I broke up with him and started dating again relatively quickly, but can that really turn his “true love” into “absolute contempt” so quickly? If we’d been together for 8 months—a year, sure, but we had a record 8 days together—many of which I was often telling him to back-off. What’s his dealio? I believe love that falls as fast as his, can only shatter as badly as it did. He needs to get a grip on reality!!

Sorry for the rant, just really frustrated with his behavior.

And I wanna know, what’s your ratio?

Yuki and I just got back from an amazing weekend in Nagasaki. Last week was the Chinese lantern festival and there were so many people and so much energy cruising all around us. We had no plans whatsoever, but everything fell into place perfectly. We did lots of shopping and ごろごろしてた. Although he’s a broke college student he bought me two neck scarves and $40 worth of make-up after sitting through my Clinque make-over. (I’ve wanted to get a make-over for a long time but my two previous Nagasaki accompaniments Sanae and Dawn weren’t so into it.)

While shopping, he had me wait in the dressing room while he brought me piles and piles of clothes to try on. I usually get frustrated shopping because it takes so long to find anything that fits me and no one wants to wait around while I try on all the largest available clothing in the store. However, this Saturday I got to contemplate “turning Japanese” (clothing style, in this case) while he brought me things to try on and even put them all away for me as I decided I didn’t need them. It was the most effective shopping trip ever (…except maybe that one time when Daniel and Joelle took me shopping for work-suits at Washington Square summer of 2005—that was extremely successful shopping thanks to those two. Arigato, ne!!!)

I am beginning to feel a little bit like I’m transforming myself into a Japanese girl, but I’m pretty confident it’s a phase and won’t last forever. Mom, you don’t have to worry about the strappy metallic shoes. That’s where I draw the line.

Anyway, pictures are more fun that me droning on about myself…

Some lanterns made by children in Nagasaki.

Your typical Chinese lanterns and insanely crowded streets. (Honestly, I kind of liked being crowded.)

Eating some Chinese street food. (PLEASE don't look at the hair!!!!)

Yuki and the lanterns.

Some tasty twists.

Yuki (distracted—look at all the lights!) and me at the festival.

We walked around and found a love hotel to stay in. (My second love-hotel experience!) For a pretty good price we stayed in a disco-themed room!

Mirrors everywhere! Three walls and the ceiling too! The disco ball was great fun!

This love hotel was much more posh than the first one I stayed in (and better company, too). There was karaoke and a huge TV; we paid in the room through one of those air tubes (where a plastic bottle arrives at your room and you put the money in and it shoots off to the office), but the best part was the sex toy vending machine where you could, among other necessities such as vibrators, lotions, and women's underwear, buy a cheap-version of The Rabbit for just $40!! If you don't mind that it's called The Black Indian and has an ugly rat instead of cute bunny ears, what a good purchase!

Yuki had to sleep with the lights on though. Apparently someone died in our room because he found salt under the bed. The Japanese fascination with death and ghosts really gets me. Seeing ghosts, hearing ghosts, ghosts in dreams, haunted forests--they all come up way more often (and are taken more seriously) than any American over the age of 7 would discuss the subject. Yuki was even able to get an approx time of death because we both woke up suddenly around 3:30 a.m. I think I woke up because Yuki kept talking to me, but he thinks the spirit woke us up so that it wouldn't be forgotten. It's interesting, but Yuki's certainly not the first mature adult to talk seriously about ghosts so I try not to wave him off immediately. I just have a hard time believing it.

The next morning we enjoyed a コンビニ (convenience store) breakfast in the peace park. Yuki’s pouting because… we’re not really sure why, but he’s good at it.

Drinking apple juice—trying to forget the hair! Although I want to mention that many groups of junior/high school kids were filing into the peace park Sunday morning (probably on a school trip of some kind) and besides all the “Good mornings!” they shouted at me Yuki heard a lot of whispered “かわいいs！” (“How cute!!!”). Yuki was pretending to be jealous because they were noticing me and not him. Maybe that’s why he was pouting in the last picture.

We ate lots of good food—ramen, Indian, all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, Starbucks coffee, manju. Yeah, it was just an all-around good time!!

Three cheers for Nagasaki's Lantern Festival and my wonderful boyfriend!

I didn’t know February 1st was an international holiday either, but apparently that was the day Lori came into this world. We had a small party in Arikawa at George’s House to celebrate her 28th year in the world. Again, I’ve been bad about using my own camera so thanks to Carrie for (unknowingly) sharing her pictures with me.

It was a jazzy night full of impromptu music and shogakko blues.

…and then there was THE CAKE. The cake of utmost excellence. I ate my own piece and then Catherine's piece and then Ippei's piece and I lost track after that. I couldn't put my fork down. I’m not sure what I need to do to get a cake like that for myself, but I can arrange changing my birthday this year if it means having one of those in front of me.

Melissa, you are a pastry goddess.

And Yuki wants you to make him buffalo wings.

My suit from Thailand arrived and I’m finally posting a picture of it. I got the pants, shirt and jacket for about $110.

…and that’s my hair before the disaster.

In the package my tailor included a picture of himself. He had a huge crush on me and called me about four times soon after I got back. (I gave him my phone number in case there was a problem with the order, not to chat!!!) Anyway, the calls have stopped so hopefully he got the hint: I wanted a suit, not a Thai boyfriend.

Also, this is Sanae in Nagasaki. We went together—about three weekends ago—and I found her this adorable pink coat for spring! It was on sale and I convinced her to buy it immediately!

Although there are “Goto Party Pics” posted all over the internet, I think there need to be a few pictures that make MY blog. I didn’t take any of these pictures so thanks to Dawn and Vicky (and maybe Carrie, too?) for lending me yours…

These are really late, but I seem to enjoy posting pictures way after the fact. This was another Kamigoto party held at Vicky’s house several weeks ago.

Dawn, Me, Ai Sasaki, (yes, the Japanese woman is my supervisor!) and Yuki eating dinner in the living room.

We played charades in Vicky’s tiny upstairs. It was cramped, but everyone was too drunk to notice and having too much fun to care. That’s me in Yuki’s cowboy hat.

Yuki came out in his Ebi Fry costume. A few people got to try it on and take their pictures in it. I think everyone just though Yuki was crazy.

Then we went to karaoke. Here’s Vicky with her three backup singers.

Ai Sasaki and Dawn. I’ve NEVER seen Ai so happy in my life.

Lori—needing all the attention and using both microphones to sing her karaoke song.

I was really hesitant to invite Ai to the party because of our rocky professional relationship and our non-existent friendship. I’m still not sure if it was the best idea ever, but I was trying to reach out to her. Our relationship has been good since last December, but we’re still teetering on the edge a bit and I’m afraid more issues could come up again if we’re not careful. At the end of the night she ended up playing taxi driver for two carloads because the real taxis had finished already (it was only 1 a.m.!). She hadn’t been drinking because she had wanted to go home to Narao, but I felt really guilty because of course she was tired and she didn’t know any of the ALTs she was driving home. I don’t think she minded too much, but I just wanted her to have fun and certainly not feel like we were using her.

Anyway, once she drove everyone home and got back to Narao, she accidentally locked her keys in her car and couldn’t get into her car OR her apartment. She called and asked if she could sleep in my car (which I had left parked and unlocked in the teacher's parking lot because Yuki drove me) until she could ask the apartment manager in the morning to unlock her door. She spent the coldest few hours in the morning sleeping in my drafty Jeep. If there was ANYTHING I could have done, I would have, but I was an hour away, at Yuki’s house and without transportation of any kind. Again, I think she was fine, but what a horrible way to end the evening!

The next day was so depressing for me. Besides the alcohol bringing me down, Yuki and I had gotten in a huge fight after karaoke and we were miserable Sunday morning. We had to put on smiling faces for the others who came out to Kamigoto as we taxied them around to various ferry ports and got people to their respective locations, but I just wanted to crawl under my kotatsu and cry--which is essentially what I ended up doing that evening. The previous night was fun up until karaoke, but if I could choose to forget every thing else after that I would.

Anyway, things are better now, which is way I am able to write about it and show pictures. Yuki and I have dealt with the problems that came up and we are probably closer because of them. And I realized that alcohol is truly a depressant—when I get in that after-party-funk I just need to let time heal!