Friday, March 30, 2007
What's the expression...
Shit hit the fan.
This week has been really tough. I've wanted to write more so I could clear my head and think critically about the situation. (You all know that I often write for that purpose, right? Re-evaluating what's going on in my life. I almost always write when I'm confused or concerned about something in my life.)
Today all I have time for is this. I'm just posting an email that I sent to Tom's brother last night. Maybe you won't understand until the end of it, but it'll catch you up on the situation.
I am so exhausted.
Hi Brian,
I am Tom's nanny, Sierra. I thought it was about time I introduce myself. I spent the evening at Charlottes' house tonight. She has been a wonderful support for me the last couple of months. It's a blessing that she came into our lives (Tom's and mine) when she did.
Tonight she caught me up with how you and Tom's family are dealing with the situation. Together we filled in some more gaps. It seems so many of us are collecting puzzle pieces of information from Tom, then we have to put them together to figure out what the truth might be. So much of what Tom says is a lie. I can't believe much of what he says anymore.
First and foremost, I am exhausted. This week has been physically and mentally draining. I hesitated even starting this email tonight because I don't feel I can express my thoughts properly, but I wanted at least to initiate contact with you.
Tomorrow I am driving Tom to Connecticut for rehab. I anticipate a fairly smooth ride. I'm trying to avoid the sensitive topics of alcoholism and also the girlfriend-gossip. They are potentially disastrous conversations and we've got three hours in a confined space together. I am torn between getting too involved in his personal life and maintaining a strictly professional relationship. I care a lot about Tom. I want him to be healthy. I have seen him to be a generous and loyal man, but more often than not I worry about his destructive behavior. He continually hurts himself and the people who love him so much.
Tom doesn't seem to want to fulfill his financial obligations to me. I worry most about this aspect of the situation simply because I rely on getting a paycheck every week---his announcement last night that I wasn't getting paid this week was obviously distressing! He did eventually agree to pay me, but had to consult with three outsider's opinions first. I would really prefer to settle everything with Tom, but Charlotte has said that you've offered to take care of me if it comes down to that. I want to thank you for your offer--and hope that it doesn't come down to that. Some battles (like the bonus he promised) are not worth fighting, but I do depend on my base salary. I apologize for putting you in his position.
Sometimes when Tom is really drunk I am uncomfortable, but I have always felt safe here. However, I have seen a new side to him this week. He is very angry at you, his father, Charlotte and Etna. I'm just beginning to worry because I spend so much of my time alone with him, and at the end of the day I don't get to "go home." I feel like I am strong, and I'm glad it's me here and not another young woman who might not be able to stand up for herself like I do. However, I need to look out for myself, too. He is a desperate and impulsive man, and he has recently realized that I am disposable. I trust you will always be discreet with what I share with you.
I have been the closest person to Tom the last few days (certainly the most consistent person in his life since December) and I wanted to say that my eyes and ears are open. If there is anything that I can or should do to help you and your family please do not hesitate to ask. Whether you need me just for the immediate "fact-checking" or further down the road for more serious inquiries, I am there for you. I want to see Tom well, and that his children are in a safe environment. That is the most important thing for me.
A long trip tomorrow. Wish us luck!
Thank you,
Sierra
617-939-7384
This week has been really tough. I've wanted to write more so I could clear my head and think critically about the situation. (You all know that I often write for that purpose, right? Re-evaluating what's going on in my life. I almost always write when I'm confused or concerned about something in my life.)
Today all I have time for is this. I'm just posting an email that I sent to Tom's brother last night. Maybe you won't understand until the end of it, but it'll catch you up on the situation.
I am so exhausted.
Hi Brian,
I am Tom's nanny, Sierra. I thought it was about time I introduce myself. I spent the evening at Charlottes' house tonight. She has been a wonderful support for me the last couple of months. It's a blessing that she came into our lives (Tom's and mine) when she did.
Tonight she caught me up with how you and Tom's family are dealing with the situation. Together we filled in some more gaps. It seems so many of us are collecting puzzle pieces of information from Tom, then we have to put them together to figure out what the truth might be. So much of what Tom says is a lie. I can't believe much of what he says anymore.
First and foremost, I am exhausted. This week has been physically and mentally draining. I hesitated even starting this email tonight because I don't feel I can express my thoughts properly, but I wanted at least to initiate contact with you.
Tomorrow I am driving Tom to Connecticut for rehab. I anticipate a fairly smooth ride. I'm trying to avoid the sensitive topics of alcoholism and also the girlfriend-gossip. They are potentially disastrous conversations and we've got three hours in a confined space together. I am torn between getting too involved in his personal life and maintaining a strictly professional relationship. I care a lot about Tom. I want him to be healthy. I have seen him to be a generous and loyal man, but more often than not I worry about his destructive behavior. He continually hurts himself and the people who love him so much.
Tom doesn't seem to want to fulfill his financial obligations to me. I worry most about this aspect of the situation simply because I rely on getting a paycheck every week---his announcement last night that I wasn't getting paid this week was obviously distressing! He did eventually agree to pay me, but had to consult with three outsider's opinions first. I would really prefer to settle everything with Tom, but Charlotte has said that you've offered to take care of me if it comes down to that. I want to thank you for your offer--and hope that it doesn't come down to that. Some battles (like the bonus he promised) are not worth fighting, but I do depend on my base salary. I apologize for putting you in his position.
Sometimes when Tom is really drunk I am uncomfortable, but I have always felt safe here. However, I have seen a new side to him this week. He is very angry at you, his father, Charlotte and Etna. I'm just beginning to worry because I spend so much of my time alone with him, and at the end of the day I don't get to "go home." I feel like I am strong, and I'm glad it's me here and not another young woman who might not be able to stand up for herself like I do. However, I need to look out for myself, too. He is a desperate and impulsive man, and he has recently realized that I am disposable. I trust you will always be discreet with what I share with you.
I have been the closest person to Tom the last few days (certainly the most consistent person in his life since December) and I wanted to say that my eyes and ears are open. If there is anything that I can or should do to help you and your family please do not hesitate to ask. Whether you need me just for the immediate "fact-checking" or further down the road for more serious inquiries, I am there for you. I want to see Tom well, and that his children are in a safe environment. That is the most important thing for me.
A long trip tomorrow. Wish us luck!
Thank you,
Sierra
617-939-7384
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Training Week
Last week when Tom and the kids were in Florida I starting training at Approach. The first two days were awkward because I knew NOTHING, but by the end of the second day I had a better idea of what my job really entails and ...I'm going to love it!!
I mentioned that I am a registrar/student affairs coordinator. I basically work the front desk and assist current and potential students who come into the office. When we have walk-ins I will tell them all about the school and help them apply and register for classes. I do a lot of work with visas and immigration. Our school provides F1 visas for full-time students, and there is a steep learning curve! I feel like this is really practical information for me. Because we constantly have students coming in wanting to change their visa status, transfer from another school or re-apply to study longer, I will be working with all these cases on a daily basis.
The other best part about my job is that I get to meet new international people every day. There are students from all over the world coming into the office, and I get to chat with them, learn from them, and make friends! Friday, after spending 20 minutes with two Japanese students, I went out for lunch with guys from Germany and Russia. Then a new student from Peru came in for orientation, and the Turkish students wanted to see if I could remember the greeting they taught me the day before. (I did! It's "Merhaba! Nasilsim?" Hello, how are you?)
I'm a people-person. Maybe you know this already, but it's become especially apparant since moving to Boston. Everybody here likes me. I'm outgoing and friendly (and a little bit flirtatious) with nearly everyone. The students who come into the office are often misunderstood and/or confused. I love taking the time to ask them where they're from, how they like Boston, how to say something in their native language, and all while helping them with their problems.
I spend a lot of time on every student. I am really careful with each one--to make sure they feel welcome, happy and satisfied. I've already gotten compliments from students, and sincere words of appreciation. I think I am a good saleswoman, and I believe in what I'm selling. Although sometimes I'm just listening and nodding my head when a student releases frustration regarding visa problems or money issues, it feels like I am helping them a lot. They usually just need someone to lend an ear and be sympathetic. Now when they come in they look for me and say hello, and I'm developing not only a personal relationship but improving their opinion of the school. I can't believe I get paid to do this!
The work does include a lot of administrative assisting as well. I'm not so fond of the filing and the paperwork, but I'm pretty lucky that the office is extremely well-organized and efficient. My immediate superviser, Caroline, is a perfectionist and is constantly cleaning up the workspace and making everything visually appealing. There is order and reason to everything we do. This means I have a lot to absorb in the first few months. The files must have all the applications, contracts, passport copies, bank statements, proofs of health insurance, multiple visa status forms and I-94s in a particular order. Luckily, she is also very understanding and when I make mistakes or have to ask question again and again she is incredibly patient. Soon it will be second nature.
Sometimes I think I am over-qualified for this job. I already think I am under-paid. Right now my goal is to work very, very hard and learn as much as I can from the people around me. My boss, Michelle, is an amazing woman. She is very open-minded and very intelligent. She gives us a lot of freedom and wants our input. I believe that if I spend a few years here I will get excellent experience under my belt, and will be able to move on and work in higher education administration.
A few months ago when I was talking with the CEO of Tom's company I asked, "So how did you become the CEO?" and he gave me excellent advice. 1. Work really, really hard and 2. Find a mentor who will help you realize your potential. The last two years in Japan were great, but I was getting nowhere professionally. In this job I want to go above and beyond what is expected of me and be successful. Caroline and Michelle are two wonderful role models as well. There's nothing worse than a dead-end job where you feel useless and bored. I'm finally setting goals for myself, and I can see how I will achieve them.
I will continue working part-time at Approach and Berlitz this April, then start full-time in May. Tonight I told Tom I would work through the end of April. I'm giving him 5 weeks notice, so even though I'm not staying as long as he'd like, I don't really feel bad. He has plenty of time to look for a new chauffeur.
I have a lot more news to share, but now that I'm working all three jobs I'm not sure when I'll have the time to write. I also started dating someone more seriously. Not a boyfriend, but we're having a good time together. Ironically he's not even someone I met through the craigslist posting--we met randomly while I was picking up Chinese take-out! He's not American, of course. Brazilian. I can't tell you anymore because when I do that's when the relationship ends... What a curse!
I mentioned that I am a registrar/student affairs coordinator. I basically work the front desk and assist current and potential students who come into the office. When we have walk-ins I will tell them all about the school and help them apply and register for classes. I do a lot of work with visas and immigration. Our school provides F1 visas for full-time students, and there is a steep learning curve! I feel like this is really practical information for me. Because we constantly have students coming in wanting to change their visa status, transfer from another school or re-apply to study longer, I will be working with all these cases on a daily basis.
The other best part about my job is that I get to meet new international people every day. There are students from all over the world coming into the office, and I get to chat with them, learn from them, and make friends! Friday, after spending 20 minutes with two Japanese students, I went out for lunch with guys from Germany and Russia. Then a new student from Peru came in for orientation, and the Turkish students wanted to see if I could remember the greeting they taught me the day before. (I did! It's "Merhaba! Nasilsim?" Hello, how are you?)
I'm a people-person. Maybe you know this already, but it's become especially apparant since moving to Boston. Everybody here likes me. I'm outgoing and friendly (and a little bit flirtatious) with nearly everyone. The students who come into the office are often misunderstood and/or confused. I love taking the time to ask them where they're from, how they like Boston, how to say something in their native language, and all while helping them with their problems.
I spend a lot of time on every student. I am really careful with each one--to make sure they feel welcome, happy and satisfied. I've already gotten compliments from students, and sincere words of appreciation. I think I am a good saleswoman, and I believe in what I'm selling. Although sometimes I'm just listening and nodding my head when a student releases frustration regarding visa problems or money issues, it feels like I am helping them a lot. They usually just need someone to lend an ear and be sympathetic. Now when they come in they look for me and say hello, and I'm developing not only a personal relationship but improving their opinion of the school. I can't believe I get paid to do this!
The work does include a lot of administrative assisting as well. I'm not so fond of the filing and the paperwork, but I'm pretty lucky that the office is extremely well-organized and efficient. My immediate superviser, Caroline, is a perfectionist and is constantly cleaning up the workspace and making everything visually appealing. There is order and reason to everything we do. This means I have a lot to absorb in the first few months. The files must have all the applications, contracts, passport copies, bank statements, proofs of health insurance, multiple visa status forms and I-94s in a particular order. Luckily, she is also very understanding and when I make mistakes or have to ask question again and again she is incredibly patient. Soon it will be second nature.
Sometimes I think I am over-qualified for this job. I already think I am under-paid. Right now my goal is to work very, very hard and learn as much as I can from the people around me. My boss, Michelle, is an amazing woman. She is very open-minded and very intelligent. She gives us a lot of freedom and wants our input. I believe that if I spend a few years here I will get excellent experience under my belt, and will be able to move on and work in higher education administration.
A few months ago when I was talking with the CEO of Tom's company I asked, "So how did you become the CEO?" and he gave me excellent advice. 1. Work really, really hard and 2. Find a mentor who will help you realize your potential. The last two years in Japan were great, but I was getting nowhere professionally. In this job I want to go above and beyond what is expected of me and be successful. Caroline and Michelle are two wonderful role models as well. There's nothing worse than a dead-end job where you feel useless and bored. I'm finally setting goals for myself, and I can see how I will achieve them.
I will continue working part-time at Approach and Berlitz this April, then start full-time in May. Tonight I told Tom I would work through the end of April. I'm giving him 5 weeks notice, so even though I'm not staying as long as he'd like, I don't really feel bad. He has plenty of time to look for a new chauffeur.
I have a lot more news to share, but now that I'm working all three jobs I'm not sure when I'll have the time to write. I also started dating someone more seriously. Not a boyfriend, but we're having a good time together. Ironically he's not even someone I met through the craigslist posting--we met randomly while I was picking up Chinese take-out! He's not American, of course. Brazilian. I can't tell you anymore because when I do that's when the relationship ends... What a curse!
