Dartboard

Okay, can I just rant for a post? I’ll do this in the traditional end-of-the-day POW WOW format that my friends and I used to do in college. (ahh… sitting around Dillin Hall with the Pioneer Girls, those were good times!)

The “POW” is… well, it’s complicated. It’s a lot of things. Work is just not fun recently. Ever since the arrival of a new supervisor in April, but the last month in particular I’ve been growing increasingly distant and disconnected from the teachers and students—especially the teachers, though. The reason is simple: Sasaki. She’s my supervisor and she just seems to make everything a struggle. Everything I suggest, everything I ask, everything I do is done wrong or impossible to accommodate.

At first any of our problems were just between her and me, but now I feel like it’s affecting so much more. I’m rarely in a good mood around her because she refuses the simple niceties such as acknowledging me with an “Ohayo” in the morning. I sit right next to her, people! Because our constant problems (of which “ohayo” doesn’t scratch the surface) I'm often not in the mood to make as many efforts to communicate with anyone and I’m becoming more withdrawn from the “community” of the staffroom. And they are more withdrawn from me too. Honestly I feel like she talks negatively about me to them and it’s made them a lot more reserved around me. I don’t have any proof of that; it’s just my suspicion and the only evidence to support that claim is simply how unwelcome I feel. (Luckily this is all happening very slowly and only the last few weeks is it beginning to get me down.)

“But that’s not the nature of the teachers…” I think. I'm sure that if anyone knew I felt this way, they would do anything they could to reassure me. They were so kind to me the first year I WANT to believe there’s another reason for this, that I’M inventing things because I’m worried about her.

And the thing with the students I blame myself entirely. I’m just not my happy-self and I’m not reaching out to them like I used to. I dread classes with Sasaki because they’re always fraught with problems—and I teach more classes with her then the other teachers combined. I can’t expect students to be anything but the shy high school students they are. If I want the relationship I used to have with them then I have to work at it like I used to. But it’s all part of the snowball—the bigger the problem with Sasaki, the more areas of my work and people it affects.

The “WOW,” which is much more exciting than the POW, is that I realized it’s not all my fault. (I do understand that I need to make changes in order to repair this “situation” with my super but I'm not the ONLY one.) Today I asked if I could take a day of paid leave in September which would allow me 11 consecutive days off (I’ve got a trip coming up!) and it turned into a 45 minute discussion with the vice-principal of the school. It was only resolved once Sasaki had to leave to catch her ferry and Hatakeyama-sensei took over as translator and all the problems miraculously dissolved.

Sasaki told it was “impossible” to take the one day off because I would be teaching at an elementary school on that day. I had to change it to the previous week, but then only getting 5 consecutive days off. When talking with Sasaki she seemed destined to ruin my plans, and Hatakeyama approached it as though we weren’t going anywhere until the problem was politely and diplomatically solved—AND I had been granted my “right” of taking a day of nenkyu. His words, “It’s my right to take this day off.”

After everything was solved I apologized profusely for interrupting him and causing trouble and he said I had NOTHING to worry about. There was NO problem.

WTF? Why did Sasaki make it such an issue? I feel like she’s out to get me. Who wants to go to work every day to sit next to someone who makes your life SO difficult?

I left work feeling both disappointed (POW) and relieved (WOW) because I seriously thought I was causing a huge ruckus by asking to take this day off, but on the contrary, Sasaki was just making it appear that way and THANK GOD Hatake was there to save me. He’s such an advocate for me--is there NOTHING I can do to get him back as my supervisor?

I'm not sure what to think… except, I think my tenure is up. There have been signs pointing me to believe two years in Japan will be sufficient, and frankly, she is the major one. So, she very well may be gone in April (cross your fingers for me!) but she could also be here for another two years too. Who knows. I have to decide before I know, so that makes that decision significantly easier.

Either way, NOT wanting to teach classes is unacceptable. Of course, I haven’t been in the classroom since mid-July, but I MUST find a way to enjoy teaching with Sasaki. And we’ve GOT to figure something out before one of us is driven to performing hara-kiri first. (Today I finished reading “Clouds of Sparrows” an “epic novel of Japan” and so all this bloody-gore samurai killing and suicide-by-sword is on the mind! It’s funny. I started the 560-page book three days ago and have been reading it from 8 to 4 at work. Finished in less than three days. It’s a good thing I went to work this week, isn’t it?)

So, that’s my POW WOW for the day. Thanks for bearing with me.

I’ve decided to apply for graduate school for next fall. It would take something significant* to change my mind about that.

*Sasaki-sensei not teaching at Nakagoto HS next year is considered “significant.”

Love, Sierra

I’ve got to get the rest of these pictures posted from when Joelle and Steven were here or I’ll never get around to it. So, here are pictures from Sanbonmatsu—a beautiful beach just south of Aokata.

Sanbonmatsu. It’s very shallow for a long way out (which means very warm water) and there are no waves.

Mostly, we (and by “we” I mean “Steven”) just attacked each other in the water. This is the “Steven Attacks Joelle” series.

The “Steven Attacks Masaharu” picture. I think Joelle’s a shark… =)

Then “Steven Attacks Sierra” series. (Are you catching a trend here?!?)

Masaharu gallantly protects me by throwing a punch at the Evil Steven!

And I’ve had enough! It’s time to attack Steven! (Highly unsuccessful, I just got dunked…)

Joelle, a bathing beauty.

Steven—oh, he’s so innocent, right? Notice the death grips at our necks!! =)

Masaharu and me… whoops—zoom out!!

Funny face... the sun's so bright I can't see a thing!

Back home and relaxing. (Masaharu’s thinking, “I really need a cigarette between these fingers.”)

Steven draws a portrait of how he'll remember me! Thanks, Friend! =)

This Saturday Masaharu and I are off to Sasebo for the weekend. I’m taking my Japanese driver’s license test on Monday, then the week-long English Summer Camp starts on Tuesday. Apparently the test is really difficult and not many people pass on their first attempt, but I am determined. I don’t want to have to take paid leave to go back to the mainland and take it again. Send me your good vibes because until then I’m driving illegally!

My website reached the 1000 visitor mark a few weeks ago and for some reason that made me swell with pride. (I only started counting back in May or so, too!) I’ve been monitoring traffic a lot recently and am still surprised that I get 8-15 visitors a day. I can’t imagine that many people come, but I think it’s cool. Thanks ya’ll!! I also finally figured out how to see what city all my visitors are in. I thought I could only find out your time zone (as well as your IP address, OS, service provider, browser, log in time, etc) but no! I even know what city you’re in!! You can’t hide from me!

Today would be my parents 33rd anniversary.
Love, Sierra

Kocho-sensei told me I could go home at 9 a.m. yesterday because there wasn’t anyone at school and what a great day! I spent the whole day cleaning my apartment—airing my futons, washing the sheets, vacuuming everything, throwing out old magazines, donating books, cleaning my balcony, washing windows and scrubbing my shower. I even got down and cleaned the creases in the sliding glass doors with an old tooth brush! Boy that felt good and the place looks great!

Masaharu came over for lunch and we made a great meal together. I made sheppard’s pie and pumpkin soup and he made a vegetable tofu dish. (I love that at first he told me he can’t cook and all of sudden in the last few weeks he can. Once I even asked him to cut a melon and he’s like, “How?” I told him “with a knife.” I never let him get away with sitting on the couch when I’m cooking or skipping on dishes after the meal. Now, he seems to have embraced it wholly that he’s gonna be in the kitchen with me and now, miraculously, can make wonderful dishes. (His specialty is cha-han and it’s killer!))

We ate late in the afternoon and then took a walk down to the library together to get more children’s books. Unfortunately the library was closed and so we got there, turned around and walked home, but it was fun anyway. I swear he’s done more physical activity in the last month with me that in the last year!! I make him climb mountains with me, swim in the ocean at every chance, and walk to stores, restaurants, etc. *gasp* FOR FUN!!

In the evening I went over to Catherine’s and we caught up on everything—it’s been a while since the two of us sat down for a cup of tea (or in my case a couple pints of water) just to chat. We toured some of the graveyards near her house (this weekend is Obon when Japanese return to their hometown to pray at the graves of their ancestors). The graves are lit up and very beautiful in the evening.

I rode my bike to school today. It only took about 25 minutes and getting here is not THAT hard a ride, especially if I take the back roads. I only have to get off twice to walk up two very steep hills. I know I really should ride my bike to school everyday when the weather is nice like this—it’d be good for my heart and help me drop a few of these unnecessary pounds. I’m just too lazy to wake up earlier and I hate the sweaty-ness and red face that happens for the next hour after I arrive. I’m glad I started it this week when there are few teachers in school (I mean ONE other teacher) and maybe after a few days I’ll realize how easy it really is. It’s just THINKING about it that’s hard. Now I have the pump for my bike (only waited a year for that!) and endless excuses to use the car. The ride home is…much tougher, I fear. I can envision lots of hills that I breezed down this morning. Gambarimasu!

I know I haven’t really said anything concrete about Masaharu: who he is, how we met, what our relationship is. So I guess now is as good a time as any. I met Masaharu in the store he works out—Big Hirai. It’s a Do-It-Yourself store in Urakuwa. I was buying a dehumidifier and he helped me choose one, box it up and take it to my car. As my mom always demonstrated to me when we went shopping together, I made sure that this shopping experience was one he would remember. (Whatever that means, but if you know my mom, you understand her effect on people—especially strangers behind counters and cash registers. They just want to do anything to please her.)

This was almost two months ago, the very end of June. He carried the box out to my car—I thought he was being extra friendly by carrying it to my car—and that’s where he asked if we could hang out sometime. We exchanged phone numbers.

We talked on the phone for about a week (only in Japanese, that was a real challenge for me!) before we started hanging out and then sort of starting dating, I guess. At first I told him I didn’t want to date—just hang out and practice Japanese, but I guess it didn’t turn out that way. One major thing had to change before I would even consider dating though. He was a really heavy smoker. He smoked at least a pack a day and smelled so badly of cigarettes.

But the good news is he quit—almost immediately. He says it’s still really hard to resist the temptation to smoke, but it’s been 2 weeks since his last cigarette and he only had a few sporadic ones in the month before that. I’m still amazed that when we met I said, “You have to quit,” and he said “Okay, I quit!” and then… he did. It seems like he just needed a good excuse to stop. Like a girl! =)

Anyway, I’m really happy that I’ve found a Japanese someone to spend time with even though I know already that this is a relationship that started in Japan and will end in Japan. And now having said that I feel I MUST say—I don’t ACTUALLY know anything at all! I thought Harald and I would last about 2 weeks and look how wrong I was! These, however, are my thoughts for this relationship so far.

Oh! It's only noon, but I've just been told I can go home! They NEVER let me off early so this is awesome!!

Love, Sierra

Yes, that's me and my sister as "maiko." The white make-up brings out so many facial features that I've never noticed before-even on my own sister! I couldn't stop looking at Joelle's nose and the shape of her face... My face seems so round and yet I always thought Joelle had the round face...

We traveled all the way back to Kyoto after hiking Fuji. We were hoping to hang out with Hashimoto-san (one of the drivers who picked us up and asked us to call when we were back in town) but we couldn’t get a hold of him so we decided to become maiko for the afternoon. I did this three years ago in Kyoto, but it was fun to do it again with my sister. The experiences were very different as well because this time we went to a very commercial place and had professional photography. Professional shots will arrive in another two weeks, but here are some of the ones I got.

Our faces are shocking, aren't they? It's really weird to look at yourself in the mirror like that! I loved our kiminos, they really suited our personalities well, I think.

In this picture, the せんす (folding fan) Joelle is holding is her omiyage from Mt. Fuji.

One of the “rules” of the Kyoto ryokkan we stayed in. Yikes—that place was scary! They had obviously had many foreigners before us who came and were disrespectful of the rules and curfew. An old woman kept shouting, “11 PM” at us as we left in the evening! The next morning however, a different woman was very kind and helpful to us.

After Kyoto we were so tired (and out of money) that we decided to skip the last part of our trip to Wakayama and head home. We took the Kobe ferry back to Kyushu and met some really interesting truck drivers.

Our friends were 22 also, but both had already been married! One was divorced and never went to high school. The one that was still married had two children and said he felt so tied down! Well… yeah! A wife and two children can do that to ya!

The divorced one was in love with my sister (they both were, but especially him) and they asked to join our dinner table. I had to translate everything, but it was good practice. We played card games together—Steve and I taught them Bullshit—and then we asked if we could hitch a ride on their trucks to Saga-ken. In the end we just took the bus ‘cause it was more reliable and we had a ferry to catch, but they were interesting characters!!

Here’s the ferry full of semi-trucks.

Loading the trucks onto the ferry.

Can you spot the drunk business man? We saw this guy in a suit and tie passed out on a bench in Kitakyushu early the next morning! His shoes were placed neatly on the bench beside him and he was fast asleep. Musta been a wild night!

That’s the end of our trip, but not the end of our fun! We went to the beaches on Goto for the next four days! Pictures of that next!
Love, Sierra

We just had a Goto Block Event on Kamigoto. The weekend was very fun, but exhausting, especially for Catherine and I who did all the organizing and driving. I wish I had a more comfortable car for everyone ‘cause I know climbing in and out of the back of Kuro kuma-kun is NOT fun! More importantly, everyone is really sweet and gets along great. I like how easy going we all are. Catherine and I are enthusiastic that we (the Goto Block) may actually all get together this year. It never even happened once last year, but we came very close for this first event. The only two people who weren’t present were Emma (On Uku) and Michael (on Fukue)—both second years. We’ve got our next event planned for late September on Fukue!

I noticed there’s a week in September with Monday and Friday as national holidays. I’m tempted to take the three days between off and go somewhere—either abroad or within Japan—it doesn’t matter, but I LOVE vacations!

Anyway, here are the pictures from Fuji. Arriving in Mishima station—somehow I think this is a picture of the woman in a yukata more than it is a picture of Steven…

Me inside the ryokkan—Japanese inn. It was sublime!

Steven, Joelle and I at the 5th station—halfway up the mountain and where most people begin their hike.

I worried a lot about my feet. I usually get lots of blisters when I go hiking. I like to wear double socks for extra wicking, moleskin and Vaseline on my heels and toes, but only an hour up the mountain and I already had issues! I took off the double pair of socks on the one foot that was hurting and scrapped the moleskin and actually—that worked! No more issues from there, but I sure was worried!

Getting stamps burned into our hiking sticks.

Joe and her hiking stick.

Steven.

As you can see the weather was perfect. We climbed it during the day so that we could actually see and enjoy the views from the mountain. Hiking at night ruins that opportunity. We read that most sunrises are blocked by the clouds anyway. I’m happy we climbed during the day.

Some sweet men who gave us chocolate as we passed them, so we gave them beef jerky. It as fun.

May Peace Prevail on Earth.

In the clouds.

Joe pointing to the top!

5 hours later: The Summit at 3,667 meters—did you know Mt. Hood is taller? Summit is ちょうじょう　in Japanese and I heard it so many times before I figured out what it was! I’m thick!

“I did it!”

The crater in Fuji-san.

Don’t mess around on the edge of craters, people!

“There’s nothing taller than me in all of Japan!”

Sisters on Fuji.

The clouds were really amazing.

Life among the clouds.

“Too many pictures!!!”

We start our descent.

YogiJoe.

I fell—and was not happy about it.

This cute old man was descending shortly before us at dusk. We seemed to be the last people coming off the mountain for the day and we worried about him being left alone up there. He said his legs were bad and he had to go very slowly, but he had climbed this mountain over 30 times since he was 18 years old. He had been giving out stamps at the summit post office all day and was planning to drive home tonight. We worried he might stray off the path in the dark or have an accident with no one to help him. He had no cell phone.

It was getting colder as the sun went down so we decided to go slowly together. We went a half a kilometer in the 90 minutes we stayed with him and eventually we decided to get to the bottom quickly to get help for him. We only had one flashlight between the three of us (we assumed we could climb and descend in the daylight, but stopping for him delayed us a lot) and then that one flashlight started to flicker on and off too. We had to get moving!!

We raced down the rest of the mountain quickly—stumbling along in the dark but anxious to get help for the man. Steven was up ahead and he met a family of four in the dark trying to say something to him. When I reached them I translated that they were trying to get down, but it was slow going with the LCD on their video camera as their only light source. Could they use our flashlight too? We all descended together using one dying flashlight, the father’s video camera LCD, and my cell phone LCD. Joelle, Steven and I were so happy to be there to help them.

Along the trail some trail patrollers came up for us and we told them about the injured man who was still halfway up the mountain. I gave them one of the business cards he gave Joelle and I and a few people went up to check on him. I don’t know how things turned out, but I’ve written him a letter (which he asked me to do to practice my Japanese) and as Steven said, “If you never get a reply, that’s probably a bad sign!” I think he was fine, but we were worried.

At the bottom, the family bought us drinks at the vending machine and thanked us profusely. We were just in the right place at the right time.

The next morning at the hotel. Exhausted, but amazingly not sore! Must have been the onsen before bed!

The lake view from our hotel window.

Me, Koichiro Miura and Joelle. Miura is a 27 year-old pilot in the Japanese Self-Defense Force who has an extended leave of a few months and is working at the Ashiwada Hotel. He was really helpful when we were there and spoke English, but insisted that I practice my Japanese first and we relied on his English only as a necessity! He flies the really fast jets that will take you from Tokyo to Kyoto in 2 minutes and to Hiroshima in three. We asked if we could hitch a ride to Nagasaki and he said, “Sure, that’ll be five minutes and I there's only one passenger seat so I have to make three trips!" When we asked why his English was so good, he said it wasn't because he'd been to America (for more than a few minutes anyway). Later found out it was good because he spent time with American troops in Iraq a few months ago.

Steven and Koichiro. Steven was so happy for the (even temporary) company of any other guy on this trip!

We got a thousand pictures of him and he was so shy. This is the last one as we pulled away on the bus.

“That is such a cute [trucker hat]!"

Sleeping on the Bullet Train back to Nagoya.

And that’s the end of Mt. Fuji!
Love, Sierra