Monday, December 17, 2007
Others' Perceptions of Me
For those of you who helped me with my final paper for Identity, I'll include the portion of my paper that included your responses! Thank you everyone for your help!
*****
I decided to talk to many people who knew me for different lengths of time and in different contexts. Among others, I spoke to my mother, an ex-boyfriend, students from school, my roommates and friends to answer the same three questions about me.
The first set of questions was, “Do you think there is more than one "face" of Sierra? Under what circumstances do you think she changes?” It was interesting that everyone answered very similarly. My ex-boyfriend wrote, “Sierra is very confident and assertive in most of her interactions (especially professional), however when faced with an environment involving conflict or circumstances where she might be subject to judgment, she will be more self-conscious than one might expect from her generally positive external behavior” (Currie, personal communication, 2007). I personally think this is a very accurate description that people who know me well would agree with. My roommates and mother went on to say in private settings I often behave like a young girl who dances and sings and acts silly. Also, there is the “everyday Sierra” who is caring, helpful and exuberant in her love of life, to be with people and travel.
My second question was “Do you think my behaviors are influenced by the cultures I've been exposed to? If so, what particular group or culture influenced me?” My mother answered, “I am sure that Sierra's behaviors are influenced by the many cultures she has been exposed to. First and foremost would be her home culture growing up. From there, starting in grammar school…doing the report on China, I think made her realize there was a wide world out there that is so different from how we live” (Kenney, personal communication, 2007). My ex-boyfriend agreed with my mother’s perspective, but my roommate who has known me for a shorter amount of time said, “I don’t think so. First of all, she has a professional attitude. On the other hand, she makes her own way regardless of what other people think” (Kesler, personal communication, 2007). Perhaps my roommate, who has known me for less than a year, hasn’t had the time to see how my intercultural experiences have affected me, or compare my past and present.
The final question dealt with my metaphor. “If I were a dog, what breed of dog would I be, and why?” My family and friends answered with a range of breeds, from golden retriever to poodle. The dog would probably be unreservedly friendly, energetic, loyal, easily distracted, and seek positive reinforcement.
*****
I decided to talk to many people who knew me for different lengths of time and in different contexts. Among others, I spoke to my mother, an ex-boyfriend, students from school, my roommates and friends to answer the same three questions about me.
The first set of questions was, “Do you think there is more than one "face" of Sierra? Under what circumstances do you think she changes?” It was interesting that everyone answered very similarly. My ex-boyfriend wrote, “Sierra is very confident and assertive in most of her interactions (especially professional), however when faced with an environment involving conflict or circumstances where she might be subject to judgment, she will be more self-conscious than one might expect from her generally positive external behavior” (Currie, personal communication, 2007). I personally think this is a very accurate description that people who know me well would agree with. My roommates and mother went on to say in private settings I often behave like a young girl who dances and sings and acts silly. Also, there is the “everyday Sierra” who is caring, helpful and exuberant in her love of life, to be with people and travel.
My second question was “Do you think my behaviors are influenced by the cultures I've been exposed to? If so, what particular group or culture influenced me?” My mother answered, “I am sure that Sierra's behaviors are influenced by the many cultures she has been exposed to. First and foremost would be her home culture growing up. From there, starting in grammar school…doing the report on China, I think made her realize there was a wide world out there that is so different from how we live” (Kenney, personal communication, 2007). My ex-boyfriend agreed with my mother’s perspective, but my roommate who has known me for a shorter amount of time said, “I don’t think so. First of all, she has a professional attitude. On the other hand, she makes her own way regardless of what other people think” (Kesler, personal communication, 2007). Perhaps my roommate, who has known me for less than a year, hasn’t had the time to see how my intercultural experiences have affected me, or compare my past and present.
The final question dealt with my metaphor. “If I were a dog, what breed of dog would I be, and why?” My family and friends answered with a range of breeds, from golden retriever to poodle. The dog would probably be unreservedly friendly, energetic, loyal, easily distracted, and seek positive reinforcement.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
While looking around forums online...
...I found the question: "Do you think illegal immigrants should be forced to return home?" There were an array of answers to the question, but so many people said yes because illegal immigrants must have come here with bad intentions of stealing Americans' jobs. They abuse social security and don't pay taxes.
I had an opinion...
I think we assume many of these undocumented people came to the U.S. illegally, but I don't think it's safe to assume that. Because I work with international students, and I know a lot of people who came to the U.S. legally, but eventually fell out of status with immigration because of expired visas, I-20s, DS-2019s, etc.
Also, we should not assume that undocumented workers do not pay taxes. Some of them do and some of them don't. Just like some Americans evade their taxes. It's not a simple black and white answer, and taxes are actually a small part of the issue. I think most of us underestimate the contribution of these workers make to the American economy. If all our undocumented workers didn't go to work tomorrow, you probably wouldn't get your coffee served at Dunkin' Donuts or your gas pumped at your local station, or your pizza delivered or your house cleaned while you are at work.
Whether you like to admit it or not, America's economy depends of all of these workers, which is why we don't pass bills which send everyone back immediately. In fact, all the people screaming "send them back" probably haven't thoroughly considered the consequences of doing so. America prospered so quickly because we have always had cheap (or free) labor, so next time you sip your hot coffee or bite into a slice of cheap pizza consider who brought it to your table.
I had an opinion...
I think we assume many of these undocumented people came to the U.S. illegally, but I don't think it's safe to assume that. Because I work with international students, and I know a lot of people who came to the U.S. legally, but eventually fell out of status with immigration because of expired visas, I-20s, DS-2019s, etc.
Also, we should not assume that undocumented workers do not pay taxes. Some of them do and some of them don't. Just like some Americans evade their taxes. It's not a simple black and white answer, and taxes are actually a small part of the issue. I think most of us underestimate the contribution of these workers make to the American economy. If all our undocumented workers didn't go to work tomorrow, you probably wouldn't get your coffee served at Dunkin' Donuts or your gas pumped at your local station, or your pizza delivered or your house cleaned while you are at work.
Whether you like to admit it or not, America's economy depends of all of these workers, which is why we don't pass bills which send everyone back immediately. In fact, all the people screaming "send them back" probably haven't thoroughly considered the consequences of doing so. America prospered so quickly because we have always had cheap (or free) labor, so next time you sip your hot coffee or bite into a slice of cheap pizza consider who brought it to your table.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Science is the new threat to culture.
Science is the new threat to culture. I couldn’t believe how ferociously I watched a man defending his culture—against science, in the documentary Sound and Fury. The documentary follows the families of two brothers, as they wrangle with the important decision of implanting their deaf children with cochlear implants. Once in widespread use, the cochlear implant has the powerful potential of “killing” deaf culture. As I observed the determined and instinctual defense of deaf culture by its participants, I noticed that the transferring of deaf culture from one generation to the next generation was as much of an issue, if not more of an issue, than the advantages the ability to hear would provide a young deaf child. Although the success of an operation such as the cochlear implant is considered a medial miracle, the documentary shows how an implant was actually the source of devastating conflict in the deaf community and confirms that the biculturalism of children in deaf culture is not an easy option if the culture is threatened.
Before watching this film I had never considered two important facts. First, the fact that an ability or disability such as deafness could sustain an entire culture, and secondly, that most cultures in the world will find themselves dwindling down in numbers until they no longer exist. Naturally, it also never occurred to me that science or technology would result in the end of a culture. Of course, I have studied and read about the regrettable loss of Native American cultures and ancient Roman culture, but they are both historical accounts of a dominant culture invading and destroying another culture or an unfortunate disease wiping out a population and therefore its culture, too.
Sound and Fury presents a new approach to the loss of a culture. Medicine and science are the new threat to culture, and the method is unique because it requires the active consent of the participants. Therefore it also brings up the issues of acquisition, maintenance and inheritance of culture. Unfortunately, one option that was not thoroughly discussed in Sound and Fury is biculturalism, as seen in my journal entry from September 19, 2007: “…in the case of the cochlear implant I kept thinking, ‘Why choose? Why must a child be a part of only a deaf community or a hearing community? Why not both? Is it impossible to join both these cultures?’"
Biculturalism is “when a person learns to function optimally in more than one cultural context and to switch repertoires of behavior appropriately and adaptively as called for by the situation” (Berry, 1989, p.p. 352). It seems that deaf children who grow up with a cochlear implant could have the potential to be bicultural, thriving in both the deaf and hearing world, because they would understand and be able to communicate in both languages and cultures. I was baffled with the deaf parents’ requirements that the situation been seen in black and white.
As a hearing person, I immediately support the implant on various levels. On a personal level, I know the joy of hearing music and sound and wish to share it with every one. Socially, I find the implant appealing because it “levels the playing field” for deaf people in the school systems and the workforce. However, most importantly, I can culturally identify with the hearing world, and it is what I believe to be the best, most natural option for humans. Hearing is the majority culture of the world. I wrote in my journal about this discovery on September 19, 2007, “As a hearing person, I want my children to share the same experiences as I. Hearing is a part of my culture, and naturally I think it's a loss to miss out on it.”
Deaf culture has found adaptive strategies for coping in a majority hearing culture. Like ethnic or racial minorities, members of deaf culture socialize their children by remaining faithful to their own culture (Berry, 1989). Even as a hearing person, and therefore a member of the majority culture, I realize that in the last quote I am remaining faithful to my own culture as well.
Finally, Sound and Fury touches on issues of socialization goals. “Socialization refers to the processes by which individuals become distinctive and actively functioning members of the society in which they live” (Berry, 1989, p.p. 354). While watching the movie I felt the deaf parents who chose not to give their child the implant were limiting the opportunities and the society in which their children could become active members. By actively choosing not to have the implant the parents were choosing the socialization goals for their children, and unfortunately I believe it originates from fear. From my journal on September 19, 2007 I wrote,
“I believe with all my heart that the little girl who wanted the implant would probably never reject her entire deaf family simply because they were deaf and she could hear. Yet I sympathize with her family being fearful of that. I think her parents are scared or intimated of the majority culture. Minority families are always struggling against majority cultures and are fearful that their children will not accept them.”
Humanity may be striving for equality, but culture is quite the opposite. It supports domination and inequality; it supports unfair traditions and abusive relationships. Culture is like the ugly village monster, which relies on the unwitting villagers to survive. There is nothing inherently equal in my own American culture, either. I have been socialized to, not only accept the inequalities, but nurture those that exist. I think biculturalism will one day be the bridge that closes the gap between cultures. If the families of Sound and Fury realized the potential in raising bicultural children, they would see their children as leaders in their communities and advocates for their culture. Additionally, their culture would then no longer be threatened by science because there would be a generation that exists in both hearing and deaf worlds.
Before watching this film I had never considered two important facts. First, the fact that an ability or disability such as deafness could sustain an entire culture, and secondly, that most cultures in the world will find themselves dwindling down in numbers until they no longer exist. Naturally, it also never occurred to me that science or technology would result in the end of a culture. Of course, I have studied and read about the regrettable loss of Native American cultures and ancient Roman culture, but they are both historical accounts of a dominant culture invading and destroying another culture or an unfortunate disease wiping out a population and therefore its culture, too.
Sound and Fury presents a new approach to the loss of a culture. Medicine and science are the new threat to culture, and the method is unique because it requires the active consent of the participants. Therefore it also brings up the issues of acquisition, maintenance and inheritance of culture. Unfortunately, one option that was not thoroughly discussed in Sound and Fury is biculturalism, as seen in my journal entry from September 19, 2007: “…in the case of the cochlear implant I kept thinking, ‘Why choose? Why must a child be a part of only a deaf community or a hearing community? Why not both? Is it impossible to join both these cultures?’"
Biculturalism is “when a person learns to function optimally in more than one cultural context and to switch repertoires of behavior appropriately and adaptively as called for by the situation” (Berry, 1989, p.p. 352). It seems that deaf children who grow up with a cochlear implant could have the potential to be bicultural, thriving in both the deaf and hearing world, because they would understand and be able to communicate in both languages and cultures. I was baffled with the deaf parents’ requirements that the situation been seen in black and white.
As a hearing person, I immediately support the implant on various levels. On a personal level, I know the joy of hearing music and sound and wish to share it with every one. Socially, I find the implant appealing because it “levels the playing field” for deaf people in the school systems and the workforce. However, most importantly, I can culturally identify with the hearing world, and it is what I believe to be the best, most natural option for humans. Hearing is the majority culture of the world. I wrote in my journal about this discovery on September 19, 2007, “As a hearing person, I want my children to share the same experiences as I. Hearing is a part of my culture, and naturally I think it's a loss to miss out on it.”
Deaf culture has found adaptive strategies for coping in a majority hearing culture. Like ethnic or racial minorities, members of deaf culture socialize their children by remaining faithful to their own culture (Berry, 1989). Even as a hearing person, and therefore a member of the majority culture, I realize that in the last quote I am remaining faithful to my own culture as well.
Finally, Sound and Fury touches on issues of socialization goals. “Socialization refers to the processes by which individuals become distinctive and actively functioning members of the society in which they live” (Berry, 1989, p.p. 354). While watching the movie I felt the deaf parents who chose not to give their child the implant were limiting the opportunities and the society in which their children could become active members. By actively choosing not to have the implant the parents were choosing the socialization goals for their children, and unfortunately I believe it originates from fear. From my journal on September 19, 2007 I wrote,
“I believe with all my heart that the little girl who wanted the implant would probably never reject her entire deaf family simply because they were deaf and she could hear. Yet I sympathize with her family being fearful of that. I think her parents are scared or intimated of the majority culture. Minority families are always struggling against majority cultures and are fearful that their children will not accept them.”
Humanity may be striving for equality, but culture is quite the opposite. It supports domination and inequality; it supports unfair traditions and abusive relationships. Culture is like the ugly village monster, which relies on the unwitting villagers to survive. There is nothing inherently equal in my own American culture, either. I have been socialized to, not only accept the inequalities, but nurture those that exist. I think biculturalism will one day be the bridge that closes the gap between cultures. If the families of Sound and Fury realized the potential in raising bicultural children, they would see their children as leaders in their communities and advocates for their culture. Additionally, their culture would then no longer be threatened by science because there would be a generation that exists in both hearing and deaf worlds.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
"How am I," you ask?
I am doing fine, thank you for asking. I have been very overwhelmed this week, though I'm starting to feel better now that it's the weekend. I never like to admit it, but I think I'm stressed out! I decided this week that I had to make some choices and priorities and I'm afraid on Wednesday I decided I had better finish my work instead of going to class.
I have good news and bad news...
This is a very exciting time for me at work because my boss has promised me a promotion by the end of the year, with some new responsibilities starting immediately. She's said recently that she's very impressed with my work and she has implied some long-term plans to move me into the position of Administrative Director. I already love my job, so this position would be an amazing opportunity for me. I need to be sure to prove that I can do it! This week I worked 11 hour days so that I could finish all my usual work, study the immigration laws pertaining to my new responsibilities, and show that I'm not only capable of it all, but can make the commitment.
Actually, one of the major stressors in my life is my financial situation, so I really need this promotion if I expect to keep studying at Lesley. It's ironic---in order to afford graduate school I have to get this promotion, but I'm working so much that I can't put the time and energy to do as well as I want to in school.
So, I'm still trying to decide if this is the best way to go to graduate school. I don't want to put all my eggs into my work basket, but if I'm paying for school I want to give and get 100% for it. I'm going to do the best I can this semester; I'm only concerned that it won't be good enough. I hate that I'm not producing the best work possible for school. To do everything well I need two full-time Sierras!
Maybe you have suggestions? ...Maybe I'm just verbally assaulting you with my problems!! =)
I have good news and bad news...
This is a very exciting time for me at work because my boss has promised me a promotion by the end of the year, with some new responsibilities starting immediately. She's said recently that she's very impressed with my work and she has implied some long-term plans to move me into the position of Administrative Director. I already love my job, so this position would be an amazing opportunity for me. I need to be sure to prove that I can do it! This week I worked 11 hour days so that I could finish all my usual work, study the immigration laws pertaining to my new responsibilities, and show that I'm not only capable of it all, but can make the commitment.
Actually, one of the major stressors in my life is my financial situation, so I really need this promotion if I expect to keep studying at Lesley. It's ironic---in order to afford graduate school I have to get this promotion, but I'm working so much that I can't put the time and energy to do as well as I want to in school.
So, I'm still trying to decide if this is the best way to go to graduate school. I don't want to put all my eggs into my work basket, but if I'm paying for school I want to give and get 100% for it. I'm going to do the best I can this semester; I'm only concerned that it won't be good enough. I hate that I'm not producing the best work possible for school. To do everything well I need two full-time Sierras!
Maybe you have suggestions? ...Maybe I'm just verbally assaulting you with my problems!! =)
Friday, October 26, 2007
Am I Becoming a Workaholic?
My job has changed so much in the last couple of months. My boss has had so much faith in me, and has supported everything I do. I feel really lucky to have connected with this company and time has just flown by! Even my relationship with my co-workers has been been a wonderful experience.
Of course we have disagreed, but we have never argued or fought about how to do things and we have so much respect for one another. We all have the same mindset for the long-term goal, but also have unique methods and ideas for how to get there. The diversity is amazing.
I put more than just time into the company----it's like my own child that I want to help grow and develop into a flourishing company. I'm allowed to implement most of the ideas I have, and I gained so much confidence in my own competence. Yeah, things are so wonderful that I spend about 50 hours at the office, and usually bring work home with me----I'm the happiest workaholic ever!!
Recently I've been getting more responsibility on SEVIS, the Student Exchange and Visitor Information System, which is how we inform immigration about our students' progress. Before long I'll be issuing the I-20 document for all our students, and will become an F-1 visa expert!!!
I love that my job keeps getting more and more challenging and I can look back on the short seven months I've been there and see how our business has grown (from about 180 students to 260 students), but I can also see how I personally updated processes and made them more effective. Organization and prevalence is my thing, so it really makes me happy to have unfettered control! Also, I'm the unofficial graphic designer of our school!!!
Anyway, I got to get up and shower and get to work! Fridays are my favorite day in the office!!!
Of course we have disagreed, but we have never argued or fought about how to do things and we have so much respect for one another. We all have the same mindset for the long-term goal, but also have unique methods and ideas for how to get there. The diversity is amazing.
I put more than just time into the company----it's like my own child that I want to help grow and develop into a flourishing company. I'm allowed to implement most of the ideas I have, and I gained so much confidence in my own competence. Yeah, things are so wonderful that I spend about 50 hours at the office, and usually bring work home with me----I'm the happiest workaholic ever!!
Recently I've been getting more responsibility on SEVIS, the Student Exchange and Visitor Information System, which is how we inform immigration about our students' progress. Before long I'll be issuing the I-20 document for all our students, and will become an F-1 visa expert!!!
I love that my job keeps getting more and more challenging and I can look back on the short seven months I've been there and see how our business has grown (from about 180 students to 260 students), but I can also see how I personally updated processes and made them more effective. Organization and prevalence is my thing, so it really makes me happy to have unfettered control! Also, I'm the unofficial graphic designer of our school!!!
Anyway, I got to get up and shower and get to work! Fridays are my favorite day in the office!!!
Friday, October 12, 2007
An Email for Therapy
Sometimes I get so frustrated at work that I like to write snipity emails to my boss. Of course, I never send that version, because the message would most certainly be lost in choosing such a method, but I write anyway because it helps me feel like I'm expressing myself by not holding back. And a day later when I've calmed down I read what I wrote and see the valid points I made, and re-write the email so that the message will be heard.
One such example:
Do you know the expression "the left-hand doesn't know what the right-hand is doing?" I feel this expression accurately depicts our weekly class schedule.
Why are there three or four copies of the schedule every week? How can the schedule change in the middle of the day? and twice a day? How are we communicating these changes to our teachers, staff and students? (I feel like these are the kinds of questions we'll have to address in accreditation!) I'm going to guess your answer is "post a new schedule" which is good in theory, but practically this system is not working.
The problems with the schedule this week:
--Not enough teachers available to teach.
--Last minute changes and teachers/students not being aware of them. (Brian covering AAP for Mike on Thurs, Lu being pulled for office hours Wed night, Nick being pulled to work on computers)
--No office hours for Luciana when we KNOW she will need them.
--Andrew scheduled to teach while also having an all-day activity.
--Brian scheduled to take students on a trip and also teach, and also he's supposed to be off.
Here comes the "if I were in charge" portion of the email...
Pulling teachers from the schedule because they are not needed is simple. Adding teachers because the classroom is overflowing wreaks havoc. I would like to make a personal goal of making one schedule which anticipates needs of all students, teachers, and activities. One schedule that goes out the previous Friday, and doesn't not change dramatically from day to day, hour to hour.
I know this is probably not as easy as it sounds, but I think we should strive for this every week until we figure out a way to make it work consistantly.
Sierra Kenney
Student Affairs
Approach International Student Center
617-787-5401
617-787-4926 (fax)
skenney@approachusa.com
www.approachusa.com
...
That was the snipity email, NOT the revision!! Don't you love the "if I were in charge" part?
Actually, I keep hearing such good things at work. I've been told that by the end of the year we will have a restructuring at Approach and I'll most certainly be "moving up the ladder." I'm not sure exactly what my new position will entail, or what it will be called, but I like to muse that I will be Administrative Coordinator or Academic Coordinator.
My supervisor's position (currently Administrative Coordinator) is going to be divided and I'll be getting the other half. I'm not sure I'm ready for all that responsibility (managing three employees or the teaching staff and curriculum, depending on which I'm offered), but if they pay me well, I'm sure I'll find a way to accept the new responsibilities!
Which do I prefer? I'm leaning toward the administrative side because, simply I'm not sure I'm qualified enough to do the Academic side, and my superviser is planning to get pregnant next year and someone (who's patiently observed for a year) needs to fill her big shoes!
One such example:
Do you know the expression "the left-hand doesn't know what the right-hand is doing?" I feel this expression accurately depicts our weekly class schedule.
Why are there three or four copies of the schedule every week? How can the schedule change in the middle of the day? and twice a day? How are we communicating these changes to our teachers, staff and students? (I feel like these are the kinds of questions we'll have to address in accreditation!) I'm going to guess your answer is "post a new schedule" which is good in theory, but practically this system is not working.
The problems with the schedule this week:
--Not enough teachers available to teach.
--Last minute changes and teachers/students not being aware of them. (Brian covering AAP for Mike on Thurs, Lu being pulled for office hours Wed night, Nick being pulled to work on computers)
--No office hours for Luciana when we KNOW she will need them.
--Andrew scheduled to teach while also having an all-day activity.
--Brian scheduled to take students on a trip and also teach, and also he's supposed to be off.
Here comes the "if I were in charge" portion of the email...
Pulling teachers from the schedule because they are not needed is simple. Adding teachers because the classroom is overflowing wreaks havoc. I would like to make a personal goal of making one schedule which anticipates needs of all students, teachers, and activities. One schedule that goes out the previous Friday, and doesn't not change dramatically from day to day, hour to hour.
I know this is probably not as easy as it sounds, but I think we should strive for this every week until we figure out a way to make it work consistantly.
Sierra Kenney
Student Affairs
Approach International Student Center
617-787-5401
617-787-4926 (fax)
skenney@approachusa.com
www.approachusa.com
...
That was the snipity email, NOT the revision!! Don't you love the "if I were in charge" part?
Actually, I keep hearing such good things at work. I've been told that by the end of the year we will have a restructuring at Approach and I'll most certainly be "moving up the ladder." I'm not sure exactly what my new position will entail, or what it will be called, but I like to muse that I will be Administrative Coordinator or Academic Coordinator.
My supervisor's position (currently Administrative Coordinator) is going to be divided and I'll be getting the other half. I'm not sure I'm ready for all that responsibility (managing three employees or the teaching staff and curriculum, depending on which I'm offered), but if they pay me well, I'm sure I'll find a way to accept the new responsibilities!
Which do I prefer? I'm leaning toward the administrative side because, simply I'm not sure I'm qualified enough to do the Academic side, and my superviser is planning to get pregnant next year and someone (who's patiently observed for a year) needs to fill her big shoes!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Acculturation Attitudes in Japan
Acculturation or adaptation is the continuous contact with a foreign culture that results in some change within oneself. Basically, it is the consequences of moving into another culture (either voluntarily as I did in Japan or involuntarily as in the case of refugees), or of another culture "moving in" (again, voluntarily as in the case of ethnic groups or involuntarily as in colonization of native peoples).
I'm reading an article on acculturation attitudes for class now and I started thinking of my own acculturation when I lived in Japan. I went to Japan with one very strong idea: BECOME JAPANESE. Although obviously I knew I would never actually become Japanese, I did try my hardest to immerse into Japanese culture by observing and imitating my hosts as closely as I thought possible. While I still found value in my own culture, I was uninterested in maintaining a strong sense of connection with it for the duration of my stay, which I knew was temporary. I rejected those things which were familiar to me and the people with whom I thought I would prevent me from having a "fully Japanese experience."
In retrospect, by cutting myself off from some of those things, I ultimately lost of a lot of great opportunities, but at the time I didn't see them as doors, rather as obstacles in my "quest for Japaneseness." My acculturation attitude on arrival would have been something between assimilation and integration. I wanted mainly to create and maintain relationships with Japanese people, while temporarily rejecting my own (defined as assimilation). Perhaps because I knew it would be a temporary visit in Japan, I never expected to fully assimilate into Japanese society (hence holding onto an partial attitude of integration), but I found the most value in casting aside my own culture and for a few years putting all my effort into relating to my hosts.
Good in theory, but sometime between the first and second year I realized that perhaps--shockingly--my hosts might not accept me in the way I was hoping or expecting them to. While I had never considered that I might not be allowed to assimilate and create relationships with Japanese I began to feel some separation. While it was not a personal choice to reject or avoid Japanese culture, I often felt in a way that I was forced to remain an outsider looking in. I would never say that I was openly excluded or discriminated against, because the Japanese are too polite for that, but I always felt the separation hanging over at least one area of my life, if not permeating throughout all of them at the same time. It's funny, once I realized it was there, I could never shake the feeling of separation. And the more unattainable assimilation became, the more I believed it was simply a matter of overcoming obstacles. I do love a good challenge!
Luckily, in my two years I have only a few memories of complete marginalization, where I had no interest in my own cultural identity and characteristics and considered relationships with Japanese to be of no value whatsoever. I had a pretty strong support system back in the US, and after I gave up my naive ideas of assimilation (probably only fully giving up the idea in the last few months I was there) and accepted the non-Japanese support system which was already surrounding me (other English-speakers who were my friends) I was able to find a happy balance between integration and separation. Even the partially limited relationships I created with Japanese were valuable and unique in their own right, and I never had to give up my own cultural identity or reject reminders of my culture to be able to benefit or appreciate both.
I think I owe a big apology to Catherine who was often the recipient of my rejection of Western culture, yet who put up with me throughout all my acculturation attitudes and became one of my best friends. Sometimes I feel really ashamed that I believed I needed to keep away from her to have a successful experience in Japan, and I admire that she never seemed to have such a naive idea of assimilation. From the outside, she seemed perfectly integrated for the two years we spent there. With the value of hindsight I, too, can see why that method was more effective in making and keeping long-term Western friendships than mine. I do not desire to have made more friends, but I do wish that I had treated some of those friends better while I was there.
...Can I attribute some of that to acculturative stress?!?!
I'm reading an article on acculturation attitudes for class now and I started thinking of my own acculturation when I lived in Japan. I went to Japan with one very strong idea: BECOME JAPANESE. Although obviously I knew I would never actually become Japanese, I did try my hardest to immerse into Japanese culture by observing and imitating my hosts as closely as I thought possible. While I still found value in my own culture, I was uninterested in maintaining a strong sense of connection with it for the duration of my stay, which I knew was temporary. I rejected those things which were familiar to me and the people with whom I thought I would prevent me from having a "fully Japanese experience."
In retrospect, by cutting myself off from some of those things, I ultimately lost of a lot of great opportunities, but at the time I didn't see them as doors, rather as obstacles in my "quest for Japaneseness." My acculturation attitude on arrival would have been something between assimilation and integration. I wanted mainly to create and maintain relationships with Japanese people, while temporarily rejecting my own (defined as assimilation). Perhaps because I knew it would be a temporary visit in Japan, I never expected to fully assimilate into Japanese society (hence holding onto an partial attitude of integration), but I found the most value in casting aside my own culture and for a few years putting all my effort into relating to my hosts.
Good in theory, but sometime between the first and second year I realized that perhaps--shockingly--my hosts might not accept me in the way I was hoping or expecting them to. While I had never considered that I might not be allowed to assimilate and create relationships with Japanese I began to feel some separation. While it was not a personal choice to reject or avoid Japanese culture, I often felt in a way that I was forced to remain an outsider looking in. I would never say that I was openly excluded or discriminated against, because the Japanese are too polite for that, but I always felt the separation hanging over at least one area of my life, if not permeating throughout all of them at the same time. It's funny, once I realized it was there, I could never shake the feeling of separation. And the more unattainable assimilation became, the more I believed it was simply a matter of overcoming obstacles. I do love a good challenge!
Luckily, in my two years I have only a few memories of complete marginalization, where I had no interest in my own cultural identity and characteristics and considered relationships with Japanese to be of no value whatsoever. I had a pretty strong support system back in the US, and after I gave up my naive ideas of assimilation (probably only fully giving up the idea in the last few months I was there) and accepted the non-Japanese support system which was already surrounding me (other English-speakers who were my friends) I was able to find a happy balance between integration and separation. Even the partially limited relationships I created with Japanese were valuable and unique in their own right, and I never had to give up my own cultural identity or reject reminders of my culture to be able to benefit or appreciate both.
I think I owe a big apology to Catherine who was often the recipient of my rejection of Western culture, yet who put up with me throughout all my acculturation attitudes and became one of my best friends. Sometimes I feel really ashamed that I believed I needed to keep away from her to have a successful experience in Japan, and I admire that she never seemed to have such a naive idea of assimilation. From the outside, she seemed perfectly integrated for the two years we spent there. With the value of hindsight I, too, can see why that method was more effective in making and keeping long-term Western friendships than mine. I do not desire to have made more friends, but I do wish that I had treated some of those friends better while I was there.
...Can I attribute some of that to acculturative stress?!?!
